Forgiveness Opens Joy by Juan M. Rodriguez

Have you ever been done wrong by someone? Has anyone hurt you? I have served in Christian ministry for almost 25 years, and through that time I have sat down to listen to many stories of pain. Stories from hearts abandoned by parents, or hearts stabbed by betrayal, or hearts crushed by the people that supposedly care about you. In those stories a common thread determined if the person was emotionally well. Forgiveness or the lack thereof. One story was about a woman that was abused by family members. She was emotionally and sexually abused. The pain was still there more than 35 years later. One day after a church worship service, she came to me crying loudly because she could not keep the thoughts of her experience out of her mind. However, she was also trying to think of a way she could forgive them.

Her experience was traumatic and I can only imagine suffering the way she did. In her heart she knew that forgiveness would help her deal with this trauma, but she was not willing to go there with her feelings. I understood. In my life I have been stabbed in the back, treated unfairly, and lied to. In every occasion it was hard for me to forgive. My first inclination was revenge. I was hurt, therefore, I wanted to hurt back with my attitude or sarcasm to make them feel pain as well. I am aware that is not what Jesus would do, but that's exactly how I would think, opposite of what Christ wanted me to do.

I am blessed to have a good relationship with Christ because in those quiet times with Him, He was mercifully correcting my unforgiving spirit. Creating space to meet with Jesus every day helps the heart heal and paves the way to be able to forgive. During that time of togetherness with Christ, His DNA creeps into our bloodstream and a miraculous change starts to take place. I could never forgive if it wasn't for Jesus in me, forgiving through me. I am powerless to forgive as I should, but God does an incredible and spiritual open heart surgery so that our heart becomes one that can forgive. In addition, I've come to embrace a truth that was proclaimed in a podcast I heard last month, "Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of joy." - Brad Jones

I share as a follower of Christ, but even when you speak with non-Christian mental health counselors, they will share the power of joy that can come into the hearts of those who forgive. A John Hopkins Medicine research shares that our health depends on our ability to forgive. These studies found that the act of forgiveness can reap huge rewards for your health, lowering the risk of heart attack; improving cholesterol levels and sleep; and reducing pain, blood pressure, and levels of anxiety, depression and stress. Forgiveness impacts our physical and mental health in a positive way, but it is one of the most difficult things for millions to actually do. The difficulty in forgiving can often be our view of forgiveness as a gift to the offender. However, it’s actually a gift to ourselves. When we choose to forgive, we reap the benefits of forgiveness. "Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." - Unknown

How have you dealt with your own pain? Was it hard to forgive? Where are you in this journey of forgiveness? My prayer is that you would discover the freedom that comes when you forgive. My desire is that you unlock the door to joy when you forgive those who have done you wrong. Forgiveness improves physical and mental health. It also starts us on the road to healing and living in the present.

"Be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, as God, in Christ forgave you."

Ephesians 4:32